BATH CIDER FESTIVAL TRIP
14th February 2015
This excellent day out involved about forty Hashers travelling by train to Bath to visit the Bath Cider Festival. As expected, the train journey was full of entertainment and surprises - especially for the other passengers!
There were Down! Downs! Pass the Parcel, alcohol, croissants, much singing and a lot more which made the journey pass quickly for the Hashers but made it interminably long for the strangers in our coach..
“I’ve been waiting outside this, the only toilet on the train, for 30 minutes! What the Hell is Rosie doing in there!”
Honest John, in desperation, uses the emergency pee container stolen from the local hospital and always carried for emergencies like this.
“What’s Honest John doing in the corner? He looks very shifty - even more than usual?”
A Down! Down! “Nice warm mulled wine but a bit acidic for my taste”
Pass The Parcel.
“If this is what I think it is I do hope the batteries are included”
Rosie looks alarmed.
Rosie is relieved to see that the parcel contents did not live up to Swatchstika’s expectations. She showed her feelings by jumping up on her seat crying “Kiss my ASS!”
Jim Jams opens her “Pass The Parcel” present more with hope than excitement. No! Same disappointment as felt by Swatchstika.
“Get ‘em off!” Shouts Bookend. Alarm spreads when Kipper mistakenly starts to take his clothes off.
Chaos breaks out as Willy tries to get Kipper back into his underpants.
Someone lets go a particularly noxious smell and, as the accusations fly, everyone points to who they think did it. Nurse Baps does her best to look innocent.
“OK! I hold my hands up! It was me” admits MUSCRAT
Even the passenger in the white top stands up and tries to take the blame! The non-hashers in our carriage will long remember this trip.
The twerking competition was won by - well I’m going to make you wait to the bottom of this page to find out.
Jim Jams to Kipper “I think this is the right time to make our good news public and stop all the speculation about us”
Jim Jams “Quiet, please, everyone! Kipper has an important announcement to make!”
Kipper “I have a fish parasite called Myxobolus buckei named after me because I discovered it!”
Jim Jams “Doh!!!”
(This is completely true - click here to see.)
“Oh look! BOF is so drunk he has dropped his pants!
So it’s true what they say happens when you turn 75!”
Shirtlifter does his best to avoid joining in the banter about BOF’s bits.
Drinking Honest John’s pee on the train is starting to have a dramatic effect on Dilly.
Lagerlout gives Shirtlifter advice on which cider to try next.
“It says here that number 155 is allowed to settle out naturally after fermentation resulting in a truly old fashioned, apple smelling brew which has a first full flavour of strawberries and sloes but which develops into a sweeter hint on the taste buds of cowslips and cow dung. This yields to an after taste of snooker table baize and toilet duck. The ABV is....”
Shirtlifter wakes up with a start.
His family were wondering where Honest John was but then Tsunami spotted his feet sticking out from under a table.
Then the dancing started.
“More cider! More music!”
Maybe a little too much cider!
By the end of the time at the cider festival Dilly was suffering from the effects of drinking the contents of the pee bottle.
Meanwhile MSB and Psychedelic were enjoying a sophisticated tea whilst Lagerlout and BOF went off to visit the William Herschel museum. This celebrates the discovery of the planet Uranus by Herschel from the back garden of 19 New Kings Street in Bath on March 13, 1781.
Talking of Uranus reminds me to reveal whose bum you saw above. Here is the owner.
Finally, Kipper is delighted to meet a fan of cap wearing like himself.