MYSTERY HASH

19th September 2011

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The Mystery Hash was hared by Rosie and Nobby and was based on the New Inn at Dowlish Wake in Somerset.

It got off to a bad start when Sonic had to excuse H5N1 who had run back to the house because she was bursting for a pee. How we cheered as she ran (yes she can run!) for the coach.

I heard that one day at school she wet her knickers in class.  

"Why didn't you put your hand up?" her teacher asked.

"I did but it trickled through!" she sobbed.

How embarrassing - especially as she was 15 years old at the time...

Psychedelic arrived at the coach with a wheelie bag just like an air hostess. Of course we pretended we hadn't noticed and refused to embarrass her - NOT!

Several times on the journey terrible smelly farts drifted down the coach. It was either Ollie the dog or Kipper. Willy sprang to Kipper's defence saying that, after fifty years of marriage, she knew every variation of fart that Kipper could generate and that what we were smelling was far too mild for him.

So, the dog got the blame. Fortunately, some Hashers had come prepared.

The pre-Hash Down! Downs! included Phucwit (as she was later named) putting a long, horribly distorted tube to her mouth and swallowing without spillage - a feat which she did with great skill.

The Hashers look on in amazement.

Such skill was not seen when this pair drank from the RA's chamber pot. He hadn't even rinsed it out from last night's excessive peeing. 

Then it was time for a challenger to try her skill at drinking from the long, twisted tube.

The Hash itself was wet and slippery.

Organgrinder showed off her 'Go Fast' stripes put there by her physiotherapist to control her hamstring injury. Unfortunately, during the Hash she tripped on a tree stump and fell, badly gouging out a deep wound in her leg, cracking a big toe and bruising all down her right leg and arm.

When the coach stopped at Maiden Newton on the way home Organgrinder and BOF got a taxi to Dorchester County Hospital A & E. Amazingly, the taxi driver refused to take any money for the journey - there are still a lot of generous kind people out there.

Organgrinder in A&E having her deep wound cleaned and stitched.

She was seen immediately on arrival and had stitches put in the wound (which was deep enough to penetrate to the muscle). An X-ray showed a hairline injury to the toe which was strapped.

Thanks to all Hashers who helped to get Organgrinder back to the pub, helped to clean the wound and generally give support.

"Alcohol? I've heard of it but never tried it. Let's see if I like it"

Doc Percy got lost in a village with one pub. Below we have a 'Blast From The Past' when he acted the role of Isambard Kingdom Brunel back in 2007.

"And the Down! Down! for the best fall on the Hash - Organgrinder!"

"That's odd. It's leaking out of his bum!"

"Bernie! Don't spit out that beer into the spittoon! You are bound to miss!"

"Eee! Heck!! Gobshite!!! I'm a Numpty! I did miss an awl!"

(BOF has just received a Notice of Prosecution from the CPS for Aggravated Racist Joking. Surely, joking about Brummies and Scousers doesn't count?)

"No! Please! No Paparazzi pictures! That's my bad side"

"Yes, I do have a talent for farts that can strip wallpaper but that was definitely the dog on the coach"

The RA is about to make himself look a right tit - Oh! No! He's got the wrong one.

"I name you - Phucwit! And whilst you are on your knees..."

Our new named Hasher - Phucwit!

ABO warns "Ignore Drain - he's got his left hand where I didn't wash this morning"