THE SURREY H3 AWAY WEEKEND

20th - 22nd January 2012

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Over the weekend of 20th to 22nd January 2012 the Surrey H3 celebrated their Christmas Party in a hotel in Bournemouth. Several Hardy's H3 joined in and also celebrated Calculator Kid's 50th  and Bookend's 42nd birthdays.

FRIDAY EVENING

Sadly, Bookend had recently suffered a bad injury to a leg when he ran into a lamp post whilst out training at night. He says it took him nearly forty minutes to drag his shattered leg to a house from where an ambulance could be called. Terrible news as it may take months to heal.

Of course, Hardy's Hashers all gathered around and were sympathetic.

The T-shirt sums it up really.

Some were less sympathetic than others. Calculator Kid in particular laughed

"Look at old Bookend sitting there moaning just because he's broken a leg! Well, I've got a runny nose and that's FAR worse!"

Bookend asked Calculator Kid to take him to the toilet to help him do a wee as he was desperate. Michelle was very sympathetic but Calculator Kid was adamant - no way was he holding another man's willy whatever the need. That's rich coming from a sailor!

Michelle pleads "Oh please take Bookend to the toilet! If you do I'll be extra nice later to take away the horrible memory"

Calculator Kid  "Bookend! Yes! I will take you to the toilet"

Bookend  "Oh thanks mate! And make sure you give it a good shake"

Bookend "I'm really getting desperate now! When is that damn lift coming!"

The ladies don't realise where Calculator Kid has been so they were not suspicious when he comes over with glasses topped up with foaming yellow liquid saying he's bought them a round of drinks.

MSB is overwhelmed by one of Shirtlifter's worst gaseous emissions. The United Nations puts out an alert warning of a dangerous and imminent threat of climate instability.

Simple things please simple minds. Give a man a glass topped table and a light and he's happy for hours.

Hardy's GM stands up to explain what's happening about Nash Hash 2013.

"OMG! I hope Calculator Kid doesn't take any more clothes off! Those pants really have to stay on!"

"I know what MSB's after later but I'd rather play with that tabletop reflection"

Organgrinder wonders how she married such a wonderful, caring, funny and handsome man. (Look! If I get to do this website I expect some perks!)

After the meal a sing song went on into the early hours. BOF and Organgrinder knew because their bedroom was directly above the bar.

"I know a song!"

"I'm a little teapot short and stout. Here's my handle, here's my spout"

Calculator Kid got so drunk that he went round pulling down ladies' dresses and photographing their cleavages. We were disgusted by this crude sexist behaviour and yet fascinated by the same tattoo on the ladies' right breasts! There's a lot that needs explaining here! He is obviously a Right Tit and that's what they were saying with those tattoos.

SATURDAY HASH FROM RED SHOOT IN THE NEW FOREST

The Red Shoot pub's microbrewery which we attempted to drink dry.

"This Hash is going to be long and hard.." (Organgrinder drifts away into a wistful remembrance of the previous night) "...and we aim to be back here in under two hours" In fact it was 2 hours 15 minutes later when Hardy's unfit laggards got back to the pub.

We all mill around waiting for the ON! ON! call.

A test of expertise in the use of condoms.

SATURDAY EVENING POSH FROCKS EVENT

Back at the hotel there was furious activity as everyone changed into their posh frocks and DJs and crept around the corridors on their way to rooms that were not their own for private parties.

Calculator Kid received many presents including a very useful Gentleman's B*llock Scratcher.

The birthday card accurately shows how Bookend got his injury.

Calculator Kid was not satisfied with the meal provided and bought along a Chinese Takeaway. Serves him right when he chokes on a prawn cracker!

Fifteen years ago Calculator Kid stood for the GM post against a rival - a cabbage. The cabbage won the vote and was GM for several weeks until CK, in a fit of pique, shredded his rival and ate it. This picture reminds him of that terrible period in Hardy's H3 history.

We were entertained by the exquisite Surrey Hash Ballet Troupe whose graceful dancing and musical interpretation will long be remembered.

SUNDAY HASH DOWN! DOWNS!

Hardy's Hashers show sympathy with Bookend.

Only Boring Old Fartie would stop to photograph an old letter box during the Hash!

Calculator Kid shows off his Sambuca burn on his chest after swimming twenty lengths of the hotel pool.

And so we came to the end of a really great weekend. Thanks to our hosts for organising such an enjoyable time.