Over thirty Hardy’s Hashers gathered together with a total of 820 Hashers from all over the world. We went to the beautiful city of Krakow in Central Poland to enjoy a long weekend of drinking, Hashing, drinking, sightseeing, drinking, enjoying a Red Dress Run, drinking, dancing, drinking, parading with a Chinese Dragon, drinking, dining out, drinking and performing a Synchronized Swimming skit.
Website created by Geoff (BOF) Kirby
Oh Yes! I nearly forgot!
There was also some drinking!
Many thanks to Mike King, Automatic-Balls Juergen and Henry Root for allowing me to include some of their pictures on this website.
Hardy’s Hashers arrived by bus, Ryanair flights from Stansted and Easyjet flights from Bristol and in campervans.
Lagerlout and Rosie cycled all the way from Weymouth and arrived with scarcely a bead of sweat on their brow. They did however have problems dodging the trains roaring past them and the crowds of illegal immigrants as they cycled through the Channel Tunnel.
In reality, Lagerlout took the Bus Pre-Lube which started in Frankfurt and then went to Munich, Vienna (Austria), Bratislava (Slovakia), Budapest (Hungary), Ostrava (Czech Republic) and Gliwice (Poland) ending eventually in Krakow (Poland).
Lagerlout dozing off during a brewery tour? Surely not!
It’s OK - Lagerlout is awake again!
Poor Sod is staggering all ready!
Meanwhile back at Stansted...
Some of us found a great pub a few miles from Stansted to feed ourselves up for the rigours of the Ryanair flight to Krakow the next day. BOF’s starter was larger than he had expected.
There were plans by Bumblebee to lay a ‘Weetabix’ trail around the Premier Inn car-park ending at his car which was loaded with booze. The presence of CCTV cameras everywhere inhibited the Hash a little but it still went ahead.
Those of us travelling on the Hardy Hash Special Flight had to get up at 5 am and we duly fought our way through the vast hoards of panic stricken travellers who, like us, had no idea how to use the self-boarding and self-luggage labelling system.
We eventually arrived at Krakow airport and took a taxi to the OLIMP Hostel for the registration process.
The harassed reception staff did their best to give out keys and keep everyone happy but it was bad standing in a very slow moving queue for yonks in the blazing sunshine and temperature creeping up towards 38 C (100 F).
The only problem that BOF and Organgrinder had with the accommodation was that a noisy threesome got underway in the next room starting at about 3 am on Sunday morning. BOF and Organgrinder banged on the door but the enthusiastic occupants refused to let them in to join in the fun because there was only a pair of bunk beds to use and Polish Health and Safely laws are very strict about banning fivesomes in bunk beds.
A well travelled Hasher.
This event allowed us to catch up with friends such as Doggy and Sprout.
THURSDAY - RED DRESS RUN
Those of you who do not know the origin of the Red Dress Run tradition should click here to read how it all started in 1988.
The Krakow event was held in a converted tram museum a long way across the city.
So, several hundred men and women all wearing red dresses walked to the nearest tram stop and caught the Number 13 all the way across town to the venue.
The story buzzed through the tram that people wearing red dresses could travel free - brilliant! Except that, if the story was untrue, the fine for not having a ticket would be about 60 quid.
In 2003 a load of Hardy’s Hashers got on a bus in Prague without tickets because we thought we had to buy them from the driver. A ticket inspector got on demanding our tickets for inspection. He was clearly an ex-KGB thug who, finding himself unemployed at the fall of Communism, stole the long leather coat which was his uniform and became a Prague bus inspector where he could continue to terrify and abuse everyone.
He ranted offensively, tried to confiscate our passports and threw us all off the bus in the middle of nowhere.
Wellie lost the plot and did the Stalinist goose-step around Prague with this sticker on his forehead.
These are the escort guards that took Wellie away to be tortured for insulting the Czech Government. A bail of £5 was demanded for his release but - strangely - none of us came forward to put up the cash because we needed it at the next bar. So he had to escape jail by burrowing an escape tunnel with a stolen spoon.
BOF meanwhile was in a state of high excitement elsewhere in Prague having tracked down the only Cubist lamp post left in the world. This was built in 1912. BOF’s excitement expressed itself as a very tiny replica of the lamp post in his shorts.
Anyway, back to the Red Dress Run in Krakow...
The locals did not seem to notice this extraordinary situation of a tram packed with jostling male transvestites and scantily clad women. Maybe there had been an International Drag Queen Convention the week before so the Krakow citizens were resigned to this sort of thing.
Has Tom got a rival?
BOF tries to keep his valuables cool.
MSB tracks Shirtlifter by his GPS secure ankle tracker. Is he at the bar yet again!?
Can you spot Bumblebee? He is wearing a red dress.
FRIDAY - A DAY OFF
Some Hardy’s Hashers went to the Krakow Salt Mines whilst others went to Auschwitz. Some also visited the central area of Krakow - the Market Square (seen below) and the ancient Basilica.
In the evening there was the Opening Ceremony, dancing, drinking and general socializing until well into the next day.
SATURDAY - THE OLDE FARTS HASH
The Olde Farts Hash - BOF is bottom left - think about climbing up the hill to see a reconstructed medieval palisade. Most decided not to pay the 2 zlotys (40 pence) for the privilege of climbing a hill to see a lot of wooden stakes.
BOF and Willy get cosy to eat their picnic - see top right.
The Olde Farts Hash consisted of a leisurely stroll through a forest about 90 minutes coach ride from Krakow and it ended up at the Ogrodzieniec Castle seen above. It was even older than Kipper - which made it impressively ancient.
The Hashers walked around the outside wall which was very interesting - but only to BOF!
A bit of a ruin - like so many on this Hash.
Willy contemplates the gnarled, wizened and weathered erections - and thinks that they vaguely remind her of something.
Look carefully and you will see a climber near the top. BOF foolishly tried to impress the Harriets by climbing to the top but was having doubts at the overhang.
A much needed ice cream
The Olde Farts waiting in the village square for the buses to pick them up as they sweltered in the heat.
HARDY’S ZOO HASH
Bookend doing exercises limbering up for some different physical activity.
ISLE OF WIGHT HASH
This went to Krajobraowy Orlich Gniazd and included a desert where Rommel trained his Afrika Corps to ready them for fighting in North Africa.
THE SATURDAY EVENING ENTERTAINMENT
Hardy’s Hash produced a huge Chinese Dragon and we rehearsed long and hard to get it looking authentic.
Rehearsing in the Wyke Smugglers function room.
It was then taken to Krakow where it was said by some to be the highlight of the entertainment.
“Hey! I’ve got a joke to tell!” announces Kipper at which ABO and BOF buzz off.
Assembling the dragon in a corridor back stage ready for the ‘Grand Parade’.
OFF WE GO!
The triumphal parade around the main arena to an well deserved ovation.
Drain grew this moustache especially for this event.
The evening entertainment included a brave Hasher who set fire to her nipples. Some people will go to any extremes to entertain their friends.
WOW! That Polish Vodka is powerful stuff!
Hardy’s Hashers preformed their synchronised swimming routine which was extremely well received. Unfortunately BOF’s attempt to record this failed due to a camera malfunction. However, their performance at Nash Hash 2013 is available to watch by clicking here.
SUNDAY EVENING MEAL
Gravelrash organised an excellent meal on the Sunday by taking over the Restauracja Starka (Number 2 out of 928 restaurants on TripAdvisor in Krakow).
Bearing in mind that this is an up market ‘posh’ restaurant, the owner and staff coped very well with the fun and games, singing rude songs and the involvement of a blown up sex doll at the meal!
Who invited old man Steptoe to our meal?
Organgrinder and Willy share a platter of cold meats.
Rosie starts to foam at the mouth due to not having drunk alcohol for 30 minutes.
Drain is recalling the rather well developed lady he was with last evening.
Gravelrash is justifiably pleased to have organised such a great meal.
Wellie leads the singing.
Bones 1 makes sure that everyone shares the pleasure of his farts.
Psychedelic says Grace “For what we are about to receive...”
MIMI in full voice. Drain is shouting “MORE!”
There goes BOF’s diet!
Wellie asks Bookend why he filled the blow up doll with Helium.
THE DOWN! DOWNS!
Kipper - for just being Kipper!
MSB for her wonderful silk outfit.
H5N1 was renamed “Bird Flu”.
The following two pictures show her being originally named in October 2005. Nice bra Bernie!
The evening came to an abrupt end when Bumblebee leapt to his feet and announced that he had just crapped himself. Suddenly everyone was at the restaurant doors waving down taxis.
...AND FINALLY - MEET THE HARDY HARRIET FASHION LEADER
Setting out on the Sunday Morning Hash with a Dolce & Gabbana bag costing £2,500!